it's been a week since i posted something. my week was a rough one. i had to accept a loss of a loved one and i have to bear with some problems regarding my work/business.
ama just passed away. i am preparing myself for that moment, but not this soon. i knew of her illness about 2 months ago. and i did not realize that it could all be over in 2 months time. surely, i will miss her. she's been so good to me, i am afraid that i was not able to give back the love that she has shown me. i remeber, when i was still in elementary, she used to fetch us from school.while driving her orange gemini car she would take us to fast food chains or drive us home. she was there with me through it all. when i was at my lowest times, she was there.ama was not that showy, she would not say "i love you" often but i know, she loves us all. she may not show it by holding my hand, but through her actions it show. i feel bad that i did not say anything to her when she was at the ICU. i wanted to kiss her badly, but i can't. she look so fragile. so soft. i just held her. i can't say any word. i felt that the world stopped for me but i can't express what i'm truly feeling. that night, i waited... i patiently waited for the clock to tick and reach 1am-2am. the doctor said that this would be her departure time. 2:30 came and all i remember is we were all rushing to the hospital. it only took me 3 minutes to reach the hospital from my office. i don't know how i drove that fast. all i know is i need to be there before she leaves us.it was past 4 when she totally let go.
i am trying to move on now. i know, that only time can heal my wounds. i will always remember her. sometimes, i cry... i don't know what to feel. i know that she is happy now. no more pains, no more meds. only eternal joy and happiness.
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